TRANSCRIPT: SOMNARIUM. – S.021 – Burning Guilt

Experiment Log of Subject 39, transferred to the closed testing facility for verdict pattern reinforcement in regards to the untimely death of her younger sister during a house fire.

---

INTRO

[recording beep]

[car ambience, low road noise]

ALEX
Okay. It’s… 10:17 PM.

We’re on the road.

We’ve been driving for about an hour and a half, and if nothing goes horribly wrong, we should reach Noren before morning.

Which is a stupid thing to say out loud, considering our track record.

[pause]

Maddy’s in the passenger seat. She’s been very quiet for the last twenty minutes, which either means she’s focused or she’s trying very hard not to throw up.

MADDY
I’m fine.

ALEX
You’re staring through the windshield like any sudden movement will kill you.

MADDY
I took my medication. I’m fine.

ALEX
Right. Completely fine.

[pause]

So.

Noren.

Still a terrible idea.

But everything keeps pointing there. May, Raynor, Renwyck, the SRF facility, BWF Construction, the lake… all of it.

And then Maddy found that page on the SRF site. The uhh…

MADDY
Public Access Portal.

ALEX
Right. The Public Access Portal.

Which, first of all, is a ridiculous name for something that absolutely did not want to be accessed by the public.

MADDY
It was public. Just not obvious.

ALEX
Right, and then the other thing you found.

MADDY
The page with the Emblems.

ALEX

Yea, so. The page itself was simple.

Thirteen emblems. All blank. Nothing else, really. Just a blank box at the bottom waiting for input.

So I started guessing.

Nothing made sense until I got a hit with one of the pattern names.

Pursuit.

One of the Emblems changed and revealed…. an arrowhead.

So I started using the pattern names I already knew from the files. The ones Renwyck wrote in the margins. The ones from the experiment logs.

Some of them worked.

But I didn’t manage to find all of them.

And I tried everything I could think of. Variations, related terms, obvious synonyms, less obvious synonyms, phrases from patient diaries, words from Renwyck’s notes…

Nothing.

So that’s where I hit the wall.

For now…

[pause]

Which means there are still patterns we haven’t found yet.

Or worse, patterns we have found, but haven’t recognized or that Renwyck mislabeled.

MADDY
You forgot the part where you tried “evil hallway.”

ALEX
I was tired.

MADDY
You tried it three times.

ALEX
I felt like I was on to something.

[pause]

MADDY

[sighs]

Do you want me to drive so you can read the next file?

ALEX
No. It’s your turn to read.

MADDY
Fine.

[pause]

This one’s an experiment log.

Subject 39

Chamber VD-04

Pattern…

[pause]

Well. You already know this one.

Verdict.

ALEX
Great. Those are never good.

MADDY
None of them are.

[pause]

Two sisters. Apartment fire. One got out.

One didn’t.

[pause]

ALEX
Are you sure you want to read that one? You can pick another one and I’ll do that one.

MADDY
It’s fine.

ALEX
I’m just trying to help.

MADDY
Alex.

I’m reading it.

ALEX
Here, put this closer.

[mic moving]

---

SUBJECT STATEMENT

First things first I want to make this clear. I’m here so you can fix my sleep, not for you to tell me all the reasons it wasn’t my fault, or these things happen, or she wouldn’t want you still hung up on this, or any of that bullshit. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even be talking about this except for the fact that she’s taken over my dreams and I need you to understand the context so you can get rid of her.

[pause]

Get her out of my dreams I mean.

[long pause]

My sister and I never got along particularly well. We didn’t hate each other or anything, we were just two very different people. It didn’t help that once my father left, my mother stopped caring about actually doing any parenting. That meant that she would capitulate whenever Gabrielle threw a big enough tantrum, and that girl’s tantrums could be heard from Antarctica.

Of course, as her older sister I was still expected to behave and sacrifice for the family. I had to be a role model for my little sister. Things probably wouldn’t have turned out so bad if she actually treated me like one.

I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but it’s impossible to talk about what happened without understanding the relationship we had and that it wasn’t a particularly good one. Maybe things would have improved between us if we’d had some time apart. Maybe she could’ve grown up and become an actual functioning adult that I could learn to tolerate.

Instead, my boyfriend broke up with me, leaving me with a 2 bedroom I couldn’t afford and a dropout sister earning just enough from her part time gig that she could help supplement the rent until my lease was up. It was only ever meant to be temporary, just long enough for us to get back on our feet.

However, once I let her into my life she proved impossible to get rid of. While she was technically employed, she wasn’t making enough to live on her own and making no efforts to change the situation. The small allowance our mother sent her for food was blown on random crap that cluttered my home, which meant that I had to pay for the both of us and had even less  I could actually put away into savings. What had meant to be only a few months turned into a year, and then two.

We’d gotten into another fight about it the night it happened. She was late on sending me her half of the rent, and when I confronted her about it I came to find out that she had been fired from her job several weeks ago and never told me. It was the biggest fight we’d ever had and I stormed off to bed, angrier than I’d ever been in my life.

In my rage I completely forgot that I’d left the oven on. I don’t even remember what I was making. Bread or maybe potatoes? It doesn’t matter now. What matters is that whatever it was caught fire. Gabrielle had long since pulled the batteries from the fire alarms because she thought it would hide her weed habits, like she didn’t realize she made the whole house smell like skunk.

By the time the smoke woke me up the fire had already spread to half the apartment. I rushed out of my bedroom to see the flames already licking at her door. I wanted to run to her, to drag her out but the flames kept getting bigger. If I tried to save her, there was no guarantee that either of us would make it out alive. That’s what I tell myself anyways. Maybe the truth is that I was still mad at her and didn’t want to put my life on the line for her again.

I ran. I ran out of that apartment, and I didn’t look back until I was out on the street shivering in my pajamas. I called the fire department of course but by the time they arrived it was too late.

They tell me the smoke killed her. That she was dead long before the fire got to her. I think they were just trying to make me feel better. I got one glimpse of what was left of her before I was ushered away. It looked like she was screaming.

After losing my sister and my apartment I had nowhere left to go, except moving back in with my mother. The walls are covered with pictures of her. I can feel them glaring at me, judging me for not saving her.

She’s been appearing in my dreams lately. I’m standing in a hallway and at the end of it is an inferno. My sister stands within it crying out for me. She’s right at the edge of the flames and if I reached in I know I could pull her out. Instead, I turn and run, trying to escape the endless maze but no matter which way I turn I cannot escape the fire.

A few nights ago the I took a wrong turn and almost ran straight into the fire. I stopped myself in time but I’d instinctively flung my arms out to protect myself and though my eyes were closed I felt the heat and the spasms of dream pain on my hands. I jolted awake and in the dark I saw orange spots of embers on the wall. In a panic I rushed to get a glass of water to douse it, but by the time I had returned they had already gone out. The only thing that had burnt was a single picture. The frame was completely untouched, but behind the glass where a picture of my sister once sat was now only a dark square of ash.

There was nothing more I could do about it with the fire already extinguished, and to be honest I wasn’t even entirely sure I was awake at all. I didn’t think my mom would react well if she saw the image burnt though, so before I went back to sleep I took it from the wall and shoved it under my bed. I haven’t had it in me to look for its absence on the wall since. Either way this is really starting to get under my skin. I just need my sleep back.

---

SUBJECT JOURNAL

Subject Journal – Day 1

I don’t know how they got those pictures. Staring at the walls it feels like I’m back at my mother’s house, leered at in every corner of the room by the prying eyes of my sister. When they promised they’d get her out of my dreams I thought I would finally find some relief from her here.

I don’t care about any of that confronting my feelings bullshit or whatever it was they said. How am I supposed to be rid of her when there’s nowhere I can turn without seeing her face?

Did my mother give these to them? I’ll bet she was more than happy to oblige, thinking this would finally make me drop all my hard feelings? One last way for Gabrielle to torment me from the grave?

[Long pause]

There’s only one section of the wall that doesn’t have pictures of her. There’s a large screen playing a video of a crackling fire. Not too long ago this would have felt soothing, but now it just causes my heart to seize up. I know it’s not a real fire, it’s not even a video of a house fire. Yet every time I look at it I feel the powerful heat of that fire prickling the back of my neck.

Subject Journal – Day 2

She was in my dream last night of course. She was there, where she always is, at the end of the hallway. The raging flames making it impossible to reach her. I ran, like I always do. I ran because no matter what I try, I can’t reach her. And if I stay too long I fear the flames might take me too. I turned corner after corner, trying to find a stairwell to get out, but the familiar layout of my apartment building was replaced with a maze of identical looking hallways of old carpet and browning paper.

My bedsheets were soaked with sweat when I woke up. No sign of the doctors, except for a plate of food. I tried to eat it to take my mind off my dream, but it tasted like smoke. It was the bitter taste of burnt food, though I inspected the food all over and saw no signs of burning anywhere. I choked down as much as I could handle, but I couldn’t even get through half.

I tried to lay down in bed but despite my exhaustion sleep would not take me. Eventually the boredom became too much for me, so I got up and paced the room. They had given me nothing to occupy myself and so the only thing that I could do was to relive my life with my sister, displayed across the walls. I still couldn’t bring myself to look directly at the fire on the screen but as I was looking at a photo on the adjacent wall I noticed something strange. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flicker on the screen. It was on the screen for less than a second, but it looked like an image appeared behind the fire.

Maybe I’m just imagining things. I thought I’d last longer with the boredom before my mind started playing tricks on me, but it is a fickle thing. I hope to see the doctors soon. I want to see a face that isn’t my sisters’.

Subject Journal – Day 3

I was in the hallways again last night, this time the dream was different.

I saw my sister standing at the end of the hallway, reaching out for help. The flames hadn’t surrounded her yet, but I could see the smoke pouring from the door behind her.

For a moment, it felt like there was hope, that maybe I could save her.

I ran, but this time, I ran towards her. The hallway seemed to stretch and warp. Each step I took only brought me further away from her. I was helpless to do anything but watch as the flames engulfed my little sister. Her scream pierced through me and I shot awake, drenched in sweat, with the vision of her face burned into my mind.

Eventually, I got up and moved around the room a bit, to shake the awful feeling.

I noticed something strange as I was pacing back and forth between the bathroom and the bed.

There was a photo of my sister and I on her 18th birthday. My face was still there, grouchy and covered in cake, but Gabrielle’s was gone. There was a small burn hole in the picture, right where her smirk used to be. The kind you get by holding a lighter to a photograph, perfectly circular. Her face was distorted by the molten edges of the burned hole.

It felt strange that I hadn’t noticed it earlier. I then went around the room and checked all of the other pictures.

Sure enough, I found more.

That picture of us when we took that trip to the Rocky Mountains.

The one our mom took when she graduated from high school, she looked so proud in that one.

The time that…

Nevermind, I can’t keep going on like this.

Each memory lost makes my blood boil. Why didn’t I save her? Why couldn’t I save her?

I need to lie down for a bit I think.

Subject Journal – Day 4

She wasn’t at the end of the hall last night. I turned the corner and she was standing right there, in front of me, only a few feet away. I could see her face, or what was left of it. It was charred completely black, her mouth locked open in a silent scream.

Even without eyes in her sockets, I could feel her gaze burning right into mine.

No matter how horrific the sight was, I couldn’t bring myself to look away.

The inferno roared behind her, with the flames seeming like they were trying to reach out and grab her.

I could feel the intense heat on my face and yet somehow the tear that rolled down my cheek burned hotter.

I couldn’t save her.

I woke up crying. I laid there for so long, just thinking about her.

After a while I finally convinced myself to sit up and eat something. I still couldn’t taste anything other than smoke, but I had to eat something.

I spent the rest of the afternoon staring at the TV with the fire. The flames were somehow intoxicating to look at.

I must’ve sat there for hours, completely zoned out, when suddenly the screen flashed. And for a split second I could’ve sworn I saw Gabrielle’s scorched screaming face staring back at me.

I’ve been sitting here, writing down my thoughts. I can see the light of the TV’s crackling fire reflect off the picture frames on the wall in front of me.

And sometimes… I can almost swear that it’s Gabrielle’s face on the screen behind me.

Subject Journal – Day 5

This night was different, the fire was nowhere to be seen even as the smoke was building. It felt like we actually had a chance this time. I grabbed Gabrielle’s hand and we made a break for the stairwell.

As we were making it down the stairs I felt the fire rise up and as the heat radiated I couldn’t help but notice that her hand felt cold. When I turned to look at her, our gaze met and I saw not fear in her eyes, but a hollow resignation. None of that mattered though, as I knew we were only 2 floors away from our freedom.

My sister trailed behind me, but I pulled her along, clinging desperately to the knowledge that each step brought us closer to the exit. As the stairs ended and we rounded the last corner, escape was now within our grasp. I felt a wave of relief as I burst through the door, and stepped onto the cold street. When I caught my breath, I realized I was no longer holding her hand. I turned to look, and there she was, standing in the doorway looking at me with those empty eyes. I raised my hand to pull her through, but the flames reached her first.

I woke to the sound of a door slamming shut. My breakfast sat beside the large metal door, but even from here I could tell that it was burnt. I had no appetite anyways, my stomach still churning from the dream. All I could think about was Gabrielle.

I wish I could tell her I was sorry. I spent so much of my life hating her and now that she’s gone I can barely even remember why. Because she was rude? Because she was immature? She was a kid, kids are meant to be immature and make dumb mistakes. But now she’ll never get to grow or change. I try to remember her face, the only thing I see is the blackened remains of her that night.

I pushed myself out of bed to look at her photos on the wall, to remind myself of who she used to be instead of what she’d become. What I saw instead made my stomach drop. No matter which way I turned it was the same. Every single photo of my sister had been burnt away. The only thing that remained in any frame was myself, scowling at the blackened void that used to be my sister. I had already lost her in life and now I’m losing her from even my memories.

I’m running out of time. I need to save her before she’s gone forever.

Subject Journal – Day 6

Just as the night before, the only sign of fire was the pouring smoke. I didn’t hesitate this time, my body moving with pure impulse and adrenaline as I all but dragged her down the hallway.

The flames moved faster than they ever had before. I couldn’t allow myself to pause for even a second as I felt the flames licking at our heels. We took the stairs several steps at a time and still they would alite the second out feet were lifted.

I refused to look back, not at the fire, not at Gabrielle’s face. The only thing that mattered was pushing forward, clutching her hand in mine with a strength I never experienced before. I won’t let her go, I won’t leave her behind, I won’t fail her this time. The cold air of the empty streets hit even as the flames singed my hair. I looked down at my hand. Hers was still locked in mine. We finally made it.

Our escape almost didn’t feel real, as I looked around at what was once a familiar place, but now only felt like a warped impression of my home. My attention was pulled away as a window exploded into a rain of shards. I knew without a doubt that it was our apartment as the smoke billowed out into the sky. That was when I realized that there was no sky. It wasn’t the pitch black of a starless sky, as that would be something. No this was a great expanse of nothing, into which the smoke disappeared. I didn’t care. What was important was that we made it.

The relief and joy was finally starting to build in me, as I turned to face Gabrielle. Those feelings dissipated the second I laid eyes on her. Her hand had turned to ash and began to crumble away in my grasp. The ash spread up her arm and across her chest. I tried to hold her, to keep all her pieces where they were, but that only succeeded in spreading it faster.

More and more of her withered away until nothing remained but a pile of ash.

I felt empty when I awoke. I still feel empty. This isn’t fair. We did it. We made it out. I finally saved her.

I keep staring at the fire, hoping for even just a glimpse of her. The longer I stare the more I feel as though there’s real heat radiating from within. Even now as I write I feel the heat rising. She can’t be gone. I refuse to accept that. I know that she’s close, she’s just out of reach, she’s-

She’s standing in the bathroom doorway. I knew she wasn’t gone. I can see the flames behind her, but I’ve been given one more chance. I won’t fail her this time.

I’m going to save you Gabrielle.

---

OBSERVATION LOG

Day 1

Subject introduced to primary stimulus of photographs of sister and an artificial fire.

Initial response characterized by anger and avoidance behavior. After initial observation, subject deliberately avoids any direct visual contact with either presented stimulus.

Biometric readings elevated during entry to chamber, with a sharp increase upon observation of artificial fire. Readings lower over time as subject adjusts to the space, but never return to baseline.

No anomalies observed.

Day 2

Subject shows visible signs of distress during sleep period.

Food served is prepared with liquid smoke additive. Subject is unable to complete meal.

Contrary to previous habits, subject spends majority of waking hours fixated on presented photographs of sister.

Subject reports appearance of visual stimulus within artificial fire. No such imagery was introduced. Subject dismisses visual stimulus as a hallucination, but avoidance of artificial fire increases.

Day 3

Minor environmental changes introduced with the replacement of multiple photographs for copies with burn holes located over the face of subject’s sister.

Signs of distress continue to be observed during sleep period.

Upon waking subject ignores food, instead taking to pacing the room for several minutes.

Once subject notices the first burnt photograph, significant time is dedicated to investigate all photographs for similar damage.

Subject then lays down, spending the rest of the day in bed.

Day 4

No new stimuli introduced.

Subject made attempts to eat meal prepared with liquid smoke but similar to previous attempt was unable to finish.

Subject spent hours fixated on the artificial fire. Biometrics were lower than usual, with subject in a trance like state.

At 22:40 there is a sharp jump in biometric readings, corelating with an expression of fear.

Subject reports observing images of her sister appearing in the artificial fire.

This is a potential manifestation as no such imagery was introduced.

Day 5

All remaining photographs have been replaced with burnt copies.

Meal was served intentionally burnt.

Subject awoke sooner than anticipated, likely due to chamber door being shut with more force than advised, creating a loud disturbance.

After prolonged period of time in bed subject ignored food, instead opting to examine photographs.

Sharp increase in biometric readings upon the realization that every photograph was burnt.

Subject was in a dissociative state for the remainder of the day.

Day 6

No stimuli introduced.

Food continues to be ignored.

Subject spent an extended time fixated on the artificial fire.

At 17:06 subject stops writing and approaches bathroom doorway with extended arms.

Subject reaches through doorway and immediately combusts.

Fire suppression system activates immediately but does not extinguish the fire. The fire burns for 3 hour and 12 minutes, the exact length of time that the subject’s apartment was on fire.

Aside from subject, nothing within chamber caught alight.

On the thermal imaging camera, Dr R. caught sight of a figure in the doorway. Color patterns of figure were white, red, and orange matching color patterns of fire when observed with thermal imaging.

Medical team entered at 20:27. All that remained were charred bones, scorch marks on floor under victim, and the impression of a pair of feet burned on the floor in the doorway. Subject was pronounced dead on site.

Experiment Terminated

---

CONCLUSION

MADDY
…That’s the end of the file.

[pause]

ALEX
You okay?

MADDY
Yeah.

[pause]

No.

[pause]

I don’t know.

[silence]

I keep thinking about May.

ALEX
Maddy… it’s okay.

MADDY
No, just… let me say it.

[pause]

[voice breaks a little]

I keep thinking… if I’d just answered sooner.

What if I had responded to her messages when they came in?
What if I’d gone through the backup earlier.
What if I’d stopped treating it like some secret I could keep buried forever.

[pause]

[sobs]

She left me a hint, Alex.

She left it there because she knew I would find it.

And I did.

I found it so easily.

[pause]

So why didn’t I look sooner?

ALEX
Hey, hey, it’s ok. You couldn’t have known.

MADDY
But I did know something was wrong.

I didn’t know what, but I knew.

May wasn’t the kind of person who scared easily. She didn’t panic. She wouldn’t ask for help unless she had already run out of every other option.

And I still…

[sobs]

[pause]

I still waited.

ALEX
You were scared.

MADDY
That’s not an excuse.

ALEX
No. But it is a reason.

[pause]

Maddy, look, you didn’t make her disappear. It’s not your fault.

MADDY
I might as well have, by doing nothing.

ALEX
No.

You don’t get to do that to yourself.

[pause]

Whatever happened to May, it started before you found the backup. Before we reconnected. Before any of this.

She was already in trouble.

MADDY
And I wasn’t there.

ALEX
But you are now, that’s what matters.

[pause]

We’re nearly there.

MADDY
What if that’s too late?

It’s been almost 10 years, Alex!

ALEX
Then we find out what happened.

And if it isn’t too late…

[pause]

Then we find her.

[silence]

MADDY
I hate this.

ALEX
I know.

MADDY
I hate not knowing.

ALEX
Yeah.

MADDY
And I hate that part of me still thinks I deserve it.

[pause]

ALEX
You don’t.

You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself for —

MADDY

[cuts him off]

Alex?

ALEX
Yeah?

MADDY
Is that car following us?

[pause]

ALEX
What car?

MADDY
Behind us.

[pause]

ALEX
The black one?

MADDY
Yeah.

ALEX
I don’t know. It’s probably just going the same way.

MADDY
Hasn’t it been behind us for a while?

ALEX
Maybe.

[pause]

MADDY
I noticed it a while back.

ALEX
Mmm when?

MADDY
Before the last gas station.

[pause]

ALEX
That was like forty minutes ago.

MADDY
I know.

[pause]

ALEX
Okay, calm down.

Don’t panic.

MADDY
I’m not panicking.

ALEX
Good.

MADDY
Are you?

ALEX

[scoffs]

No.

[pause]

Maybe a little.

[car signal ticking softly]

MADDY
What are you doing?

ALEX
Letting it pass.

[pause]

We’ll slow down. If it’s just someone behind us, they’ll go around.

[pause]

MADDY
It’s passing.

[pause]

ALEX
Yeah.

[pause]

MADDY
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

ALEX
Shit.

[pause]

MADDY
The plate.

[pause]

ALEX
Yeah.

[pause]

PURSUIT.

[silence]

MADDY
That can’t be the same car.

ALEX
No.

[pause]

No, it can’t.

[silence]

Look.

Welcome to Noren.

[low static begins on the radio]

MADDY
Is that the radio?

ALEX
I didn’t turn it on.

[static grows slightly]

MADDY

[slightly panicked]

Alex…

ALEX
Shit, I’m pulling over.

[recording beep ends]

OUTRO PLAYS